I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed “mOTHERFUCKER” and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said “you rang?”
hats off for the ultimate dad joke
dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.
making fun of your kid for enjoying the things they enjoy is the quickest way to make them feel so completely isolated from you that they are more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet than you about their problems